Why do we always pay attention to the bad in our life and merely acknowledge the good? I don’t know the answer, but I wish I knew how to beat it. I made it so far that I can taste 2016 with all its splender and possibility but I can’t focus because of my memories of 2015. I am the type of person that believes ‘new year new me’ and secretly I know you do too, it’s somewhere deep down buried under your 90’s nostalgia and love for boy bands. So naturally I’m excited for the new year, well was. The opportunity of new beginnings leaves me to reminisce on the previous, now to be endings, and looking back 2015 was a hard year.
I had many doubtful moments and a lot of self harming opinions. This year my anxiety hit new levels that caused concern amongst myself and family members. A year where I was surrounded, left me feeling constantly alone, misunderstood, defeated and straight up unhappy. This year I learned a lot about myself, Robyn the person; why she does the things she does. I admitted things into the universe that I physically was unable to before, because everyone knows, once you say it it becomes real. I have had harsh reality thrown my way this year, all in 12 months. I feel like a phoenix that lived it’s life, and in this moment I’m bursting into flames ready to start a new. But while I’m burning I’m realizing how ‘hot’ the flames are. I have to be a phoenix because this just can’t be the end. I refuse to believe at 22 I am a peacock who has lost all its feathers. I’m not done. I am a working progress. You have to breath life into your situation no matter how bad because you actually design your life and if you choose to be sad then that’s a choice you’ve made but I am not making that choice for me.
Life has to be happy , like really stinking happy at some point. So I’m going to continue to find the silver linings in my dark situations. Though 2015 sucked it had some pretty good highs. Friendships got stronger, family got closer and I started my blog. I’ve been exposed to a new side of life and I was all for it. I tried to live happily, and in those small bits of my forever I was. I feel like this post is helping me let go of the bad energy 2015 held over me so I can go full throttle and blessed into 2016 and keep it this way. Major key for 2016 though is not putting up with randoms bullsh@ any more an figuring out what’s worth it or not.
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