Anxiety isn’t easy to deal with. For a long time I didn’t know I had anxiety. I used to feel scared and trapped at certain times in my life. I didn’t know there was a name for the feelings I had. When you start feeling awful regularly, almost scheduled pain, that’s when it becomes serious. The worst thing about it is you can’t stop yourself from feeling this way, it’s literally a split second switch from happy to my Life is over. It can happen anywhere at anytime and that’s awful. Some persons have strong physical reactions brought on by their anxiety. Their breathing becomes impaired or their stomach hurts worst than nerves.
My anxiety makes me feel like I’m failing at life. All my problems seem like they can’t be solved. It makes me think of situations that don’t exist but seem very plausible at the time. It’s as if all my hopes and dreams are shattered, I feel physical pain whenever I’m anxious and mot persons around me can tell that somethings not right. My chest hurts when I feel anxious and my breathing feels laboured. I kind of give up. I tend to ignore my feelings and lie to myself. People ask if I’m okay so often I start believing my lies that I am. But my problems don’t get solved and my pain doesn’t go away. I’m at a constant war with myself with no help from anyone.
Recently I was feeling anxious about life. All of it. School, work, relationships. Everything got me anxious. Mr.B could tell.He gave me advice that I’m going to share with you. He said
“Get away from the source of your pain. Even if it’s five minutes. Take a deep breath and think or do something that makes you happy. That’s what I do. I stop and go play video games like Fifa or COD.”
He was right. Sometimes I ignore his advice because he can’t possible understand how bad I hurt, but this time I listened. Sometimes I wake up feeling anxious. I roll over and try to relax my mind by scrolling through instagram and weHeartit. Beutiful pictures motivate me. I take as long as I need, to the point where I feel like I can handle the situation. I make sure I’m thinking straighter. Music is a big helper. I play songs I know will get me dancing or at least boost my mood. Drakes Hotline Bling has been mine of recent. Sometimes you can’t play music due to your surroundings, humm it. Sing it in your head. sometimes I have full parties in my head during exams. My invegilators probably think I’m crazy. I don’t care.
Everyone is different so different things make us feel happy.What makes you happy (hoping it’s legal) shouldn’t be a concern to outsiders. The thing that relaxes me the most is cleaning. It’s sort of subconscious. My mind will be racing then I start to realise I’m straightening shoes by the door way or dusting the furniture. Cleaning usually takes a long time for me so I usually calm down around the time I’m through. I’ve been anxious at work and started cleaning co-workers desks. I don’t know why it relaxes me but it does. Seeing clutter confuses me so clearing a space makes me think clearer. You might find it strange that this is how I move from anxious mess to semi functional mess, but I really don’t care. If pushing a mop around helps me escape my horror situation then so be it. We should want happy persons in the world not shaky anxious messes.
You have to believe that you deserve to be happy. That’s the real first step. Make the declaration to be happy with yourself and where you are in life. You must understand your situation otherwise how will you fix it? Know what makes you happy, even through trial and error. Sometimes its hard to explain your feelings to family and friends without being judged but just know you are not alone. Other people know that trapped feeling, that disappointing feeling in the pit of your stomach. We are not the only ones. Find a friend who helps you. It could be your pet, a real person or your besties from tv. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha helped me through some of my toughest times. Go out searching for yours. Find your happy place, relax in there and go face your problems. It is possible for life after anxiety.
Thank you for stopping by #LeveridgedLives. *HUGS* I hope you embrace my virtual hugs, I’d love to know how you’re feeling.