Where Does Your Validation Come From

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Where does your self worth come from?  Is it measured by the amount of friends you have, or enemies you’ve made.  Is it the amount of designer items you own, or how many people like your outfit?  If you’re thinking of what you deem fit as validation then stop, because it involves comparison among others.  If you are constantly comparing your self worth to your perceived self worth of another then someone always comes up short, and often times it’s ourselves.  We can clearly see how wonderful the person next to us is, or the person on instagram is, but we don’t pay ourselves the same compliment.  It’s in our biology to be competitive but not for us to to see ourselves as weak or lesser.  It’s in us to compete but you need to find the right component, and that person is ourselves.  BOOOM! I just dropped a major brain bomb. (I had to simmer the mood, it was getting a little too Oprah) 

The only time you should be competing is against the person you were yesterday and the day before.  My life mantra, and you can quote me verbatim, is that we must live to evolve.  You should always be overcoming an issue or challenge you’ve previously faced to make you literally stronger, whether physically, mentally or even sartorially.  Use yourself as a push to figure out your validity.  You may be falling behind at school, getting grades you’re not proud of.  Choose a grade you want to average and work your way to achieving it.  You may be a failing student, better your self from yesterday to pass the next test.

I was blessed with a fashionable mother who drilled some very important fashion tips into my head, she dressed me for quite sometime, the entirety of my toddler life.  There came the point in my life where I begun dressing myself, poor little me thought it would be easy and was surprised at it’s difficulty.  I made some awful choices in my youth and missed out on some opportunities to kill with my outfit.  Knowing what I was capable of and going back to my mantra I chose to evolve sartorially.  I needed to improve my styling skills from the young girl from my yesteryears .  I worked and worked until eventually being noticed by outsiders and friends as a well dressed person.  I’ve improved style wise that my friends come to me for styling advice. But I never used their complements as validation, I use how I feel in my clothes that day as validation. No way am I wearing something because someone else says it looks good on me when I don’t feel comfortable or happy.  I can sit on my bed and type before you and I say I’m a stylish lady. 

Another issue with validation is fear of identifying your validation.  If Kanye thinks he’s the best producer, wrapper, father, husband, friend, Yeezus out there then he is and he should be proud.  Yeezus today was better than Yeezus yesterday.  Robyn today is better than Robyn yesterday.  Do not belittle yourself for the comfort of others. If one tree grows in the centre getting the most sun and it spreads its branches creating shade, the other trees will grow until they reach the sunshine.  Not because you feel completely accomplished and validated should make you shy away for the benefit of others. If it’s okay to say my friend did good shouldn’t the same courtesy be held for ourselves. We should be mentally healthy enough to say with a genuine heart I did good today.  You continue growing until you reach your shine.  Now that you really see the dimensions of your worth, evaluate and evolve, that’s all that’s left to be done. 

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Thank you for stopping Leveridged Lives. Same time, same place for more life hitting posts. See you next Wednesday. 

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