This week is filled with anniversaries for me. First it was my blogs one year anniversary and today it’s my nine year anniversary with Mr.B. I think it’s a huge surprise whenever I tell anyone how long we’ve been together because on average relationships between young people max out at three years and it’s even more shocking because of how young we are. To outsiders it’s sweet yet strange at the length of love we share but to us it’s completely normal. We have now become constants in each others lives. We eat, we breathe we’re together or atleast thats how I feel. I think after almost an entire decade together I’ve learned a few things along the way to about love.
I knew from an early age that shallow reasons wouldn’t get you anywhere, you know, liking someone based solely on their looks. If the person is handsome or beautiful then that should be a bonus but not the deciding factor. You need to fall in love with their personality no matter how neurotic they are, that’s what happened between Mr. B and I. We fell in love through conversation while being friends. I wasn’t attracted to him while we were friends but I loved our conversations. Jamaican teens in ’08 basically lived through social media where we would only meet up once a month, or me at least to see friends. My mother was strict like that so most of my friendships were built through phone calls , MSN messenger and Hi5, #tbt. So good conversations were important back then. You’d know if you wanted to keep someone as your friend if you guys could hold a good conversation and Mr. B and I did.
We would speak every day, sometimes short burst of 10 minute convos every 3 hours or we’d be on the phone straight without a care in the world. It continued like that until we got together and well after. We would literally speak all day, falling asleep on the phone and walking up to good mornings from each other the next. You would think that we lived far lands apart when he really lived twenty minutes away, but we were young and our parents strict. Nowadays we see each other whenever we want, we can talk face to face and still for hours and hours. Many times we are the only ones we see for weeks and we rarely complain, I mean we are human. We found interests in the same things and thought in similar ways and that’s true beauty. He told me that even if I looked the same, acted the same but couldn’t hold conversations as I do I would have been long gone, and I wouldn’t blame him. When we’re old and grey and too fragile to do anything all we’ll have at 97 are our conversations and grandkids to keep us entertained.
Loving someone shouldn’t be hard and loving Mr.B isn’t. Now we say this thing to each other ” I’m glad I like you now.” We grew in love, into real true can’t live without you, okay to share the same cell phone, If I hurt you cry type of love and I’m glad we did. We’ve had our nasty fights and we’ve had some torrential tears but we were in love and we wanted to fight for that love. We made a choice for our love to stick with it. Plus after nine years I couldn’t imagine telling a whole new person every little detail about myself again. We have our secrets and our private dreams and their special because of who we share them with, each other. It’s completely okay not to have a love like this right now, because one day you will. Follow your heart and also follow the signs. Mr.B and my love was destined and I’ll probably share what I mean another time. My biggest advice is to put away all your previous check lists of what you want in a significant other. Faith doesn’t play by your rules. Be open to who you think you can’t love. They may be perfect for you and they might have been there all along.
P.s Don’t go around humping every one in your life trying to find love. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.
Thank you for stopping by Leveridged Lives. Love is always with you as long as your heart is open.
Happy anniversary Fabian. I love you
Photographs by F.Blake