haven’t been feeling very great recently, most of all I’m unsure. I’m not sure if what I’m dealing with is actually as bad as it feels, or it just feels this way because I came off of an ecstatic high? Either way, it’s been rough. It literally feels like I used up all my good luck chits for the year and my life has moved horrifyingly back to normal. This year has been going super great guys, exponentially better than my other years. I’ve had great experiences and have done some forever memorable things that I honestly couldn’t believe I got the chance to. Everything felt very high octane and surreal and I thought the surrealness was going to continue forever, or at least till the end of the year. Every rainbow has an end, whether you see it or not.
I was recently faced with an amazing, life altering, dreams can come true opportunity. Update, it didn’t work out, but I thought it would. I was so excited, so ready and so sure that it would work out guys, I’m telling you. The details were so perfect and specific to stuff in my life that I swore God set it up, plainly for ROBYN! For ME. I had great feelings through out, not to mention my life was going great. I felt like a new woman and this would be my new chapter. I would be the one to lead, then it didn’t work out and my heart sank to my stomach and it put me through a small stent of spiralling depression. But I tried to play it cool.
I think that was the straw that pissed me off. I was so sure! So sure. I tried not to beat myself up about it. Psyched myself up to hoping for new chances. Though I tried to stay positive, little things started to rear their heads. I started noticing things were going wrong, life’s not as good as I thought, my hair is uneven and I fell off my diet (damn you yogurt covered pretzels). It feels like I was walking through clear skies and all of a sudden one raindrop fell, then another and now I sense the huge cloud approaching to ruin my day when I decided to wear my suede. However I’m not sure if this is a rain cloud to kill my mood or a big cloud to shade me from the sun cause it is hot. I don’t know if this is the begin of the end of happy days, or a break in my usual programming and life hasn’t stop getting better. Am I just overthinking and pmsing? If things don’t start picking up next week there will be a flash flood warning because I’m about to be F@#&ed.
P.s A girl can casually shop for magazines and have deep mental thoughts about her future!
Thank you for stopping by Leveridged Lives, stay tuned for the weather report. There might be a slight chance of tears and mild anxiety.