haven’t written anything lately that has been really thought provoking or mentally stimulating. Over the years and after a moody childhood I figured out the formula (ode to Alka – Jamaican thing) to becoming a happier person, simplify things by lowering expectations. Mr. B used to argue the manner that people seemed overly entitled and I stood on the opposing side, but after a few rude, harsh and painful awakenings I started realising obtaining a happier life meant I need to loose my attitude of entitlement and simplify my life.
I stood with this mantra for years and it honestly made for a happier me. It made gestures seem more beautiful and more personal than before and it generally makes little moments special. If my boyfriend asks me on a date I get butterflies in my stomach and love struck. You might read this thinking, why? Isn’t it common to go on dates at this stage of your relationship? Yes it is, but not having the pressure of constantly keeping the spark alive or one upping each date makes anytime we go out together extra special. As I said before I have been following this mantra for years and have never felt the need to question it, until now. I pose the question listed in the title, I don’t know if simplicity is killing me or making me happier. Here’s why.
When I started my blog, youtube hell even my instagram I was super excited for my first like and comment. When I gained a real follower I was in shock. When one moved to two hands full I was ecstatic, ridiculously happy, over the moon joyed. I literally felt like the happiest girl in the world and proud too. This feeling stuck with me for so long until I saw how many likes other people had, and how many followers they had (way more than mine) and the plethora of comments they had to read through. It made me wonder, am I okay with my results? Should I smile when handed a participation trophy or do I accept defeat and return to the drawing board to work on my gold ? Of course I want crazy amounts of readers and viewers and endless comments rolling under each posts, but I was willing to wait patiently until it was my time to shine. Comparison isn’t always a bad thing I suppose. It makes me want to work hard so my one follower can grow into 100K and my first 100 views can turn into 1M.
You see my expectations for my blog and youtube were lowered, for the sake of my sanity. I didn’t want to go into any of these ventures with the expectation of making it big or winning the Bloglovin breakthrough fashion blogger of the year competition right of the bat, though I tried. I had to understand that I’m a little fish in an overpopulated, high paced dog eat dog, or fish eat fish pond, where the weak struggle to survive because the top percentage controls the food. If I went in expecting ten thousand views in a week and 1000 readers each day, my heart would break when neither came through and it would probably deter me from continuing. Therefore living simply and basically expecting nothing did make me happier. But because I had no expectation I wasn’t as hungry as I should have been. I was happy to be even swimming in the pond whether I was starving or not, and that would leave me dead. Where is my hustle and grind mentality? Where’s the hard working, constantly evolving hungry blogger? Too busy being happy with crumbs.
Yeah I’m a small fish but don’t I deserve food too? Shit, a guppy gotta eat to survive. Yes I should wait my turn for someone to get up from the table but there’s space for me to shimmy on by. Here’s what I’ve taken from this question, lowering expectations can be great on a date, or meeting a new friend, or visiting that Instagram cafe, but it will kill you when you become complacent with your work. Mostly, high expectations does not equal low gratitude. I’m extremely grateful for my 20+ blog followers but I’m not settling for this number. Help me up my numbers by clicking FOLLOW so you can stay updated and connected with Leveridged Lives .
Thank you for stopping by Leveridged Lives. Do you agree with my final takeaway? Can simplicity really be a good thing?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below, let’s get a conversation started
Photographs by F.blake