guys, how are you doing? I hope you’re doing well and getting along in life. I wanted to get a little personal on the blog and start talking about my thoughts on a monthly or maybe weekly basis. Talking about my feelings really helps me deal with them, and maybe these posts may help you. This Mondays Feelings is about last Monday when you’re reading this, and it has to do with friendship.
I’ve always been a strong believer in quality over quantity and this is a major part of my friendships. I was never the girl to have a thousand friends but I would have a few acquaintances, a friend of a friend. Throughout my school life I’ve had my group, a collection of girls and boys that were my core friend group. I’ve been to 4 different schools in my life time and I’ve had my main group of friends to get me through each. The most important and life changing group being my highschool and university clique, which were the same group of girls. It’s the most important because I’ve, we’ve helped influence the women we all are today. And this group has taught me so much about the meaning of friendship over time.
I think the true test of any relationship is time. If you stay in a relationship with someone then there must be something to it, you feel it’s worth fighting for. Or at least that’s how I felt. Does distance make your heart grow fonder or makes it easier to forget. I often think about friends and keeping friendships, mostly on how to start a new true one. I’ve always struggled with the idea of a new friendship especially in my adult life. There’s a lot of negativity or wrong intentions with grown up relationships that half the time I say fuck it, no new friends #HelloDrake. Because I struggle with creating new friendships I treasure my existing ones even more and decided to fight for them. Even more so because I’ve seen once good friendships dissipate because of time and distance.
Time is really the more common factor. Through time we are evolving and maturing and figuring out ourselves. When we’re 16 we think we know exactly what we want and who we want to be, but that’s the smallest point in your life. When we hit our twenties or really that age when we start university or college we have a more comprehensive view of the world and who we want to be in it. And with this more mature view we start to realise that “this friendship” or “that relationship” may or may not be for us. It can be a host of things, personal views, preferences, likes and dislikes. But these issues are what time stresses. And when time stresses these huge conflicting topics, politics and what nots, friendships are stressed too and they crumble under the pressure. Everyone is stubborn and everyone believes that their view is the view and there’s no more room for her lifestyle or his opinion. This is how time will test friendships. I’ve seen my friends lose their friends over time. I’ve seen friends and have experienced friendships strengthen over time because we found a compromise. I’ve seen new friendships blossom because they found each other at the right time and it transcends oceans, it doesn’t matter if they’re worlds apart.
I’ve also seen friendships ruined because they’re a world a part. Long distance relationships are one of the hardest things to work through and honestly aren’t for everyone. It’s unfortunate to think that we don’t just pick up from where we left off when we leave, but that things change so aggressively. This one sort of shocked me to be honest because I try to keep my long distance relationships. I talk to my friends at least once a month if they’re away and if I miss that window we catch up and hold a lengthy conversation. I know it’s hard for them because they’re in a new environment so I give them a little bit of home when we speak, I try to keep it as normal for them as possible. But way too often my friends bring to light that other friends don’t speak to them when they’re away. Out of sight out of mind? I have no idea why they do this and I don’t think it’s my place to ask, but distance in this case didn’t make the heart grow fonder.
Those two main points have been on my mind lately because I see the root of some of my friendships weakening, while I’m working on a long distance friendship and worrying and hoping that our connection never changes. I’m getting older but I haven’t progressed remotely close to what I thought I’d be doing at 23. My friends though are all their own person in society with important roles and a whole life to themselves. 8 years ago we were each others everything, if we missed a day from school we’d die. Now we go months without a call or a hello. So many new frontiers are being discovered and a whole new mature definition of friendship is being revealed. Before, sparing an extra pencil or spotting some money for lunch was considered a life saver. Now It’s rescuing your friend from domestic situations and being their escape when the job gets stressful. The more into life we get and the more mature we get, the more time passes and the further apart we physically move. I just hope that my existing friendships stand the stresses of time and distance while possibly creating new bonds with new people in the world. I want blogger friends, that I can stress about content options and scheduling crap with. Sorry just felt like putting that out there.
I also love it when you guys interact with me on the blog, or leave comments on my instagram. It’s like we’re building new little friendships at our chill out spot because we come here all the time. Lets become even closer by entering your email in the top right hand corner in the right column of the blog to FOLLOW for post updates and new fun stuff. Let me know If you feel this way about your friendships and if you liked my Monday Feelings segment this being hopefully the first of many.
Thank you so much for stopping by, sorry if it was a long one today. I really wanted to get this of my chest.
Photography by F.Blake